


The Avengers but Sanders Sides

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers AU, Not Beta Read, Probably ooc, Why Did I Write This?, basically just avengers 1 but with our favorite sides, bruce banner deserved better in the MCU, i do btw, it might work, janus is black widow, logan is iron man, marvel AU, patton is captain america, remus is hawkeye, roman is thor, virgil is bruce/hulk, which is weird because do i call him roman if he's thor?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25836643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 'What if everything in the avengers was the same except instead each avenger was replaced by a sanders sides character?' is the question that literally nobody asked. It does what it says on the tin.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, TBD - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	The Avengers but Sanders Sides

Remus lounges in the rafters of the underground lab. To the untrained eye, it would look like he was just catching some z’s, but anyone who knew the agent could tell he was also paying attention. If Remus is being honest, he doesn’t quite trust this project. What with the unstable blue square and the previous incident in New Mexico with a certain demigod and his hammer, everything that Remus knows about the world has gone topsy-turvy. Not that Remus particularly minds, he does enjoy chaos now and then, but it’s something to keep an eye on.

A disturbance on the ground catches the archer’s attention, causing him to slowly draw his bow, waiting to see if he should shoot from the rafters or drop down to the ground. A man with a ridiculous green cape and golden horns strides down the lab to the cube thing. If Remus remembers correctly, this is Loki, prince of Asgard, and brother of Roman. Remus ends up dropping down, landing smoothly, and creeping up behind equipment. 

Then, all hell breaks loose. Agents are shooting, scientists are attempting to flee, and Loki has a strange scepter in his grip.  _ Now or never, Hawkeye _ , Remus thinks to himself before firing off the shot aimed right at the demi-god’s forehead, which is knocked away harmlessly.

“Uh oh,” Remus scrambles backward as Loki advances towards him. Before he can move to defend himself, the scepter touches his chest, and Remus’ world changes.

***

Floating above the ground, Logan Stark surveys New York City as the sun sets on the horizon. In a rare moment of serenity, he allows himself to calm down, to live in this one moment. That is until J.A.R.V.I.S. speaks up.

“Sir, it appears that you are getting another call from Phil Coulson.”

“Send it to voicemail,” Logan smirks, “I’ll get back to him later.”

“You had said that the past 15 times, sir, I do not think it wise to-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Logan cuts in. “I  _ know _ . But I don’t care. Send it to voicemail.”

“As you wish, sir,” Logan wonders how an A.I. that he coded can speak with so much attitude. Well, J.A.R.V.I.S. learned from the best.

“You ruined the fun, I guess it’s time to head in,” Logan mutters, turning back towards Stark Tower. Smoothly landing on the deck, Logan’s armor is deconstructed around him, allowing him to strut across to the door and head inside without needing to do any heavy lifting. Going to the mini-bar in his lounge, he pours himself a drink.

“So I see you don’t know how to pick up a phone.” Logan spins around to see Coulson himself, stepping out of the shadows.

“And you don’t know how to knock on a door,” he quips back. “So, what brings you here? Catastrophe? Death? Intrigue?”

Coulson chuckles. “Something like that. Events have occurred that call for Operation Avengers. We’ve got everything handled in roping the team together, but we need your expertise.”

“Oh, do you now?” Logan tries not to show how curious he is. “What exactly are we looking at?”

Coulson slides a thin glass-plate tablet across the bar. Picking it up gingerly, Logan scrolls through the info, skimming everything. When he finishes, he gives a low whistle. “Wooow, look at that. I guess I can clear time in my busy schedule to give you guys a hand.”

“Thank you for your generosity,” Coulson deadpans. “I was hoping that you could look over some of the notes from a scientist who was taken by Loki, one Dr. Selvig. If we can understand what he was thinking before, we might be able to guess what Loki would do next with Selvig’s help.”

“Ok, just send them to me,” Logan nods. “I’ll see what I can do. And Coulson?”

“Yes, Stark?”

“Don’t break into Stark Tower again.”

Coulson smiles condescendingly towards the other man. “As soon as you stop ignoring our calls.”

As Coulson leaves, Logan mutters about his frustrations under his breath before turning his attention to the notes that had just appeared in his inbox. He has a lot of work ahead of him

***

With all the punching, it isn’t a shock that the bag breaks. Patton sighs, picking up the garbage and hooking up another punching bag. He doesn’t know how he’s going to adjust to this century. At least he got to see Peggy again, but… Patton doesn’t know whether he should mourn his old life or try to move on and adapt. He knows he doesn’t  _ have _ to take up the mantel of Captain America, but he feels it’s his duty.

But now, he’s so lost. He only realizes that he’s ripped the new bag when he hears a throat clear behind him.

“Looks like you’ve gone through a lot of punching bags,” A voice that Patton recognizes as Director Fury says.

“Well, they do break fairly easily when I punch them,” Patton says, smiling amiably. “So what brings you here?”

“Straight to the point, eh?” Patton nods and Fury chuckles. “It’s a skill that I can appreciate. We’ve got a bit of an issue on our hands. A lot of good agents are in danger.”

Patton frowns. “Go on.”   
  


“It’s a long story so I’ll do my best to summarize.” Fury ponders a moment before speaking. “Shortly before we got you out of the ice, we had a run-in with what we can only assume are Norse gods. We also have done some work with a powerful piece of tech called the Tesseract. One of these Norse gods, Loki, has stolen the Tesseract, along with some of SHIELD’s best agents, and we have no clue what chaos he’s planning. That is why we are engaging Operation Avengers, we need to find Loki and stop him.”

“And you’d like me to help?” Patton asks the question hanging in the air before Fury can say it.

“Yes.” Fury nods curtly. “We’re working with some unknown and unco-operative elements, and I can’t think of a better person than you to help track down the Tesseract.”

“Then I suppose I’ll do what I can.”

“Excellent!” Fury grins, “Let’s get going now if you’re ready.”

***

Janus knows that something seriously wrong has happened when the boss’s phone starts ringing. The boss stops the interrogation, causing the minion to look confused between Janus and his boss. Janus pouts, he had been getting so much information from these two idiots. 

A look of anger passes over the boss’s face, followed by shock and fear. “It’s for you.”

The phone is passed to Janus, who awkwardly pushes the receiver to his ear. “Fury, this had better be important. These idiots are spilling everything,” He smiles when the boss defends himself to the minion, trying to look tough.

The grin falls off his face at Fury’s next words. “Agent Barton has been compromised and Operation Avengers has begun. I need you in Kolkata to get Banner.”

“Wait,” Janus hides the hurt he feels over the loss of Remus. “Let me go after Barton-”

“No” Fury interrupts. “It’s too risky, we need to get everyone under one roof before we make any actions.”

Janus grimaces, he doesn’t like this, he  _ especially _ doesn’t want to be the one getting Banner. A pang goes through his chest when he thinks about how Remus would tease him for being scared of a mission. “Ok, just a minute, and I’ll get on the quinjet.”

“Wait-” The boss says, but before he can say another word, Janus has lunged forward, flipping so that he breaks the chair as he knocks out the boss. Pulling the minion towards him with his bound wrists, he quickly headbutts him, knocking him out. Grabbing his pair of heels, Janus walks away, steeling himself to do what’s needed.

***

Virgil was finally getting comfortable. Sure, that just meant he was closer to either another incident or a quick escape from the country, but he allowed himself a bit of time to relax and dive into his work. He was happy to use his M.D., he didn’t exactly get to use any of his degrees as he was on the run all the time. But, with every patient saved, he felt he was making up for another death at the hands of the Other Guy. Virgil turns to the woman and child, giving them instructions in shaky Bengali as to how to care for the ill in their house. As he finishes, the woman goes to offer him money, but he shakes his head.

Before Virgil can leave, a young girl no older than ten runs in. Virgil struggles to translate her words, mostly understanding ‘father’ and ‘sick’. He gets up and nods at her, following as she bolts out of the house, weaving through the groups of people on the street. The two stop in front of a house on the edge of town, and he follows her in.

“Shit,” He mutters as she runs across the room and out the window. Standing in the center of the room is a tall man with red hair and vitiligo covering half his face. 

“Hello, Dr. Banner,” The man tries to placate Virgil, and by his body language, Virgil knows that he  _ knows _ .

“Who are you?” Virgil looks behind him before deciding it’s too risky to try to run. Nobody would be stupid enough to corner him without backup. “How’d you find me?”

“The name’s Agent Janus Romanoff,” The agent takes a step forward. Virgil swears that Janus looks scared, somewhere behind the curtain of calm the agent shrouds himself in.  _ Good, _ he thinks,  _ I can use this. _ “I’m with SHIELD. We never really lost you, we’ve just been… keeping tabs, throwing other parties off your scent.”

Virgil frowns. “Shield?”

Noticing Virgil’s frantic glances towards the doors and windows, Janus smiles. “I came here alone, it’s just the two of us. Now. SHIELD. We work towards stopping global catastrophes.”

Virgil can’t help but chuckle. “There’s a reason I try to avoid those. So, what? You want to use me? Weaponize me?”

“No, not at all,” Janus shakes his head. “We need  _ your _ help. Not… the  _ Other _ Guy.”

“Really?” Virgil snorts.

“Really,” Janus nods in agreement, producing a smartphone and opening it with the click of a button. “This is the Tesseract.”

Virgil walks over to Janus, taking his glasses out of his pocket and putting them on. Though they aren’t exactly the right prescription, they help more than nothing. Virgil takes a moment to examine the glowing cube on the screen “Why me?”

“Well, Dr. Banner,” Janus explains softly. “The Tesseract releases a faint gamma radiation signature, far fainter than anything we could track. Your knowledge of gamma radiation is unparalleled. I was sent to retrieve you so that you could help us to track and find the Tesseract.”

“Well, what if I say no?” Virgil muses out loud.

“Then I’ll convince you,” Janus grins in an unnerving manner.

“And, what if the other guy says no?” Virgil needles, trying to push the agent as far as he can.

“As I said, we don’t need-”

At that, Virgil cuts in. Slamming his hands on the table, he growls: “ **Stop lying to me!** ”

At least Virgil got a reaction out of the agent, and before he can blink, there’s a gun pointed at his forehead. Virgil raises his hands in the air slowly, realizing how stupid it was to provoke a government agent. “I’m sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you’d do.” Virgil can see unshed tears glimmering in the agent’s eyes. He honestly hopes that Janus never gets the chance to meet the other guy. “Now… why don’t we put that,” He gestures to the gun, “Down, and we can do this without the other guy coming out and making a mess.”

After an excruciatingly long standoff, Janus lowers the pistol and speaks into an unnoticeable earpiece. “Stand down, the situation is under control.”

“So, just us?” Virgil laughs humorlessly. Without any more protest, he follows Agent Romanoff out of the house, trying to ignore the guards, just out of sight, guns at the ready.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to write avengers fanfics but I'm a coward. so I'm taking the comfort characters that I literally always write about and I'm shoving them into this story. Do people do this anymore? I remember someone made a Sanders Sides Moulon Rouge AU but otherwise, I haven't come across 'the characters in this story are put into another story' story. I guess it's a lack of creativity. 
> 
> Oh well, I'll probably delete or orphan this anyways.
> 
> Maybe I shouldn't write this stuff when I'm in a bad mood lol


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